That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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