Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
