FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
