Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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