New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
