I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
