Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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