in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
