I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
