Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
