If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
