OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
