Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
