Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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