she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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