He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
