belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
