hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
