shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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