Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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