Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
