So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
