You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
