I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize