You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
