I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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