mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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