carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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