zippers are such a cool invention
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize