I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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