I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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