If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
