Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
