but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
