I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
