He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
