Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
