shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
