The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
