shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
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