i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
