I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
