Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize