I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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