You made me cry and you don't even care
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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