Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
