You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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