Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
time to smoke my breakfast
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
she told me i tasted like america
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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