There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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