I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
This is the high leading the old right now
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
