dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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