In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
