so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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