What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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