I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
