He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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