He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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