I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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