she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
